Star Trek Discovery: The Mercenary
by Corwin Black
Summary: During the height of the Federation & Klingon war; a botched rescue mission compels the Discovery to retain a private military contractor who's notoriously deadly, flamboyant, & expensive. (AU - Alternate Universe).
1. Chapter 1 A Train of Angels

Star Trek Discovery: Fan Fiction

The Mercenary:

During the height of the Federation & Klingon war; a botched rescue mission compels the Discovery to retain a private military contractor who's notoriously deadly, flamboyant, & expensive.

By Corwin Black

Day: 388 of the War of the Binary Stars.

USS Discovery NCC-1031 in route to Earth.

The Discovery's medical bay is a panorama of phaser burns, severed limbs, and the grave sight of brave Marines and Star Feet officers and crew who have succumbed to their wounds, and being prepared for burial.

In a different part of the Discovery, littered in a cargo bay are the empty cots which were set up in the days prior to accommodate one hundred and eighty six prisoners of war; most of whom were now dead, being tortured, or worse.

The full sick bay and the empty refuge center was the consequences of "Operation Eagle Talon"; a colossal failure at a rescue mission.

The grim mood that permeated throughout the entire Discovery was like a winter evening at the Antarctica research center.

Captain Lorca sat at the head of the senior officer's conference table; and the grim looks on the senior officer's faces told a comprehensive story. They were headed for Earth. Admiral Janeway had recalled the Discovery so that he could debrief the entire botched mission himself.

"We did everything wrong people. The enemy was ahead of us every step of the way." Said Commander Landry.

Commander Saru interrupted, "Instead of stating the obvious, I have explored a new option to acquire an asset that will make further mistakes far less likely and greatly increase the lethality and effectiveness of future rescue missions."

Michael looked at Saru with concern, but not curiosity.

"Go ahead." Captain Lorca stated, perhaps some constructive planning was finally going to enter into this entire fiasco.

Saru continued, "I have contacted a very capable private military contractor who specializes in rescue missions, among a great many other scenarios of a 'direct action' variety."

"What do you mean 'direct action'?" asked Tilly.

Lorca answered, "It means that Commander Saru's friend is very good at killing bad guys."

"He is" confirmed Michael. She turned her questions to Saru, "Are you sure that Baron will work well with the crew?"

Landry interrupted, "He won't. If we're talking about the infamous Baron SouthPaw then he'll be a disaster." she said to Lorca, and no other person in the room.

"Saru, I get the impression that you and Michael have worked with Baron before, what is your assessment?"

"Baron SouthPaw's standard operating procedure during any 'direct action' mission is to use deadly force. However, his collateral damage ratio is remarkably low. His success rate is astonishingly high." stated Saru succinctly.

"I agree Captain." stated Michael. "He is not a team player however. If you put him in charge of a mission he will give orders to anyone he pleases; regardless of their rank and will expect you to do it without question."

"He knows what he is good at." deduced Lorca. "He is good at killing the enemy."

"But he does not enjoy it." stated Saru, "He actually has an insane sense of humor."

"He plays one hell of an axe." added Michael.

Stamets understood the reference to 'axe' it is what an electric guitar player called his rock n roll guitar, especially a Fender Stratocaster. Stamets quoted one of his favorite songs, "Straight through the bedroom by the suitcase on the left, you'll find my favorite axe." It was from Pink Floyd's album "The Wall'.

The look of bewilderment came across Lorca's face, which was actually unusual.

"The point is moot," said Stamets, "mercenaries are expensive and this one in particular is v-e-r-y expensive."

"How expensive?" asked Lorca. He was speaking only to Saru.

"The contract under discussion is to retain his services for a single standard tour of duty." Saru stated, trying to put Baron's large fee in context before dropping the bad news.

"A whole year?" asked Lorca almost in disbelief.

"Indeed." responded Saru, "Even though the Federation doesn't use money in the traditional sense his fee includes a fifty bricks of gold pressed latinum down payment, and an additional one hundred bricks over the next twelve months.

"I'm surprised; that's actually not to awfully expensive." stated Stamets, he was mistaken however.

Michael corrected his math, "His fee is in bricks, not slips."

Lieutenant Stamets, realizing his error, quickly redid his math. "Good Lord that's extortion."

"It's outright robbery when you factor in what his expenses will be; which are always far more than their initial fee." stated Landry, with a generalization about mercenaries.

Saru corrected the false assumptions about Baron SouthPaw's fees, "He doesn't charge expenses. That's why his upfront fee seems so astronomically expensive."

"Since when do money hungry mercs not keep expense accounts?" said Landry sarcastically.

Michael shed light on Baron SouthPaw's curious practice, "The Federation is notorious about shafting payment to anyone and anything that they outsource. This keeps it simple."

Lorca quietly thought to himself. "Hire him."

Commander Saru accessed his computer screen and spoke to Captain Lorca, "The down payment has been transferred to his Orion Trade Bank account. He should contact us shortly to arrange a rendezvous."

"Excellent." stated Lorca. Stamets and Landry were clearly not happy but silent about their 'unhappiness'.

"Bridge to Commander Saru." said the intercom.

"Go ahead Bridge."

"There is an Edward VanHalen on a secure channel asking for you specifically. He had the proper pass code." said the communications officer.

Captain Lorca looked intrigued, he had heard that name before, but he couldn't place it right away. Lieutenant Stamets knew the name and said, "Is this a joke?"

"Audio only." stated Saru and he spoke before the person making the call could announce himself. "Baron good to see you are as prompt as ever." stated Saru with a great deal of satisfaction.

Landry interrupted, "Mr. VanHalen please make sure you have a complete manifest when you arrive on Discovery. There are no exceptions." Stamets stated to the Mercenary like a dog fighting to become the alpha. She didn't realize that she was now the butt of a very nasty joke.

Captain Lorca then realized where he had heard the name Edward, or Eddie, VanHalen. He couldn't contain a smile that stretched from ear to ear; a very unusual sight from the Captain of the USS Discovery. Landry took note of the Captains smile. "Mr. VanHalen," stated Lorca; barely able to contain his laughter, "I look forward to making your acquaintance. The fact that the galaxy's most notorious mercenary is friends with my overly cautious first officer is refreshing; and people wonder where have all the good times gone." said Lorca. the phrase 'Where Have All the Good Times Gone!" was a song title from the band known as VanHalen. Baron SouthPaw was impressed with the Captain's quick whit.

"Likewise Captain."

Saru interrupted, "One more thing Baron. As I am the first officer on a Starfleet vessel I believe that you owe me something."

"Good thing I brought it." stated Baron with a great deal of satisfaction in his voice.

Saru look genuinely surprised, "You actually got me one?" he asked.

"It's vintage, pre-CBS, 1958, sunburst." said Baron, Saru would know what it was in reference to and he knew it.

"Good Lord." Saru said like he was just told he was getting a Stradivarius for Christmas.

"I got it from a junk dealer on Ceti Alpha five who thought it was a 2112 re-issue. I had the Rozhenko's do the re conditioning to make it playable again." Said Baron.

"You didn't restore it did you?" asked Saru like that would amount to sacrilege.

"God no," stated Baron with great satisfaction, "I even put a pattern enhancer in it so you could beam it safely."

Baron turned his attention to all the others listening in the room, "Captain and Crew as part of my bet with Saru he has to play this instrument right after he gets it. You may not want to miss this."

Stamets interjected in astonishment, "Saru plays bass guitar?"

Michael answered, "He's quite good."

"Commander Landry," said Baron, "I expect you to read my contract before I arrive. No exceptions."

Saru handed Landry a data padd. "Read it now that's an order." Landry began reading.


	2. Chapter 2 Tears In The Rain

Fan Fiction: Star Trek Discovery: The Mercenary

part 2: Tears in The Rain.

As the senior officers of the Discovery stood on the Shuttle deck watching the galaxy's most notorious mercenary fly his unique ship into the Discovery's massive shuttle bay they saw a ship that was both out of place, and just oozing awesome.

Captain Lorca looked closely at Baron's ship. It was clearly an aerospace fighter aircraft that had been adapted to warp technology; but there was more. The control surfaces had been refitted with what looked like impulse engines. "Is that an F-14 Tomcat." stated Lorca. It was not a question.

"I am not familiar with that designation." Stated 1st officer Saru.

Lorca continued, "It was a classic." Revolutionary design. "It was the biggest quantum leap in air superiority technology in history, including the F-22 Raptor. The Tomcat was better than its contemporaries; even better than the Raptor or the F-35 was; when compared to the French Raphael, Eurofighter Typhoon, or MIG 38, or even the SU-57."

"It's airframe was required study at the Vulcan Science academy." Stated Michael, "Both as a way of showing extreme high performance, and insanely high maintenance cost."

"What justified such an expensive aircraft?" asked Saru.

"A Nimitz Class Carrier Group cost about 1,500 pallets of gold pressed latinum." Said Michael with the cost and currency conversion done with Vulcan like speed, as one would expect.

Ensign Tilly made an observation as the "tomcat" landed. "The wings contain gravity plating. That's been tried by theoretical physicists many times, they can never get it to work."

"Does that have any advantages?" asked Lorca, genuinely curious.

"Hell yes," stated Tilly, "You can, in theory, make atmospheric style maneuvers in a vacuum, and even during warp speed. You could also, again in theory, go much faster than one quarter impulse." Tilly just stared for a moment in awe. "All of the test vehicles tore themselves apart. Nobody could ever figure out why. I wrote a paper on it in high school. It helped me get into Starfleet Academy."

Michael was astonished. "I read that paper. Starfleet had it classified. That was yours." stated Michael. It was not a question.

The slick ship landed on the deck and its wings swept back into the "parked" position. The cockpit canopy did not open, but a transporter materialized Baron SouthPaw next to the air superiority fighter, along with a steel carrying case about fifty inches long, by six inches deep, by twenty inches wide. Saru spotted it right away, "That's my bass." he said, his excitement was noticeable, despite Saru's reputation for his calm demeanor.

As the Discovery crew came to meet their new "shipmate" there were mixed feelings about the new arrival. Landry, simply peered through her massive amounts of cybernetics at Baron and his vintage/modern Tomcat. Tilly almost ignored Baron and went right to the gravity plating ports in the wings and fins. Captain Lorca stayed back and observed his crew's reactions. Michael and Baron shook hands and nodded. Saru simply grasped Baron briefly and then set his attention directly to the bass guitar.

As Landry approached Baron he handed her a single, small piece of paper, "This is my exhaustive manifest as ordered" he stated. There were only three items on it.

1\. Me

2\. My shit Stuff

3\. Fender Bass guitar. 1958 pre-CBS. Precision Bass. Sunburst Property of 1st officer Saru (pattern enhancer placed behind pickguard). Do not remove.

Landry was not amused but she didn't say anything. She simply placed the paper in her pocket and left the shuttle bay.

Baron approached Captain Lorca, "Captain Lorca; Baron SouthPaw reporting as ordered, private military contractor, under bond to Star Fleet as Warrant Officer level 3 with a specialty in Direct Action. Request permission to come aboard." It was a long introduction for such a simple request, but it was 'official'.

Lorca was pleased with Baron's polite manners, "Permission granted." affirmed Captain Lorca.

As Saru pulled his vintage bass guitar out of the case, put the strap on it, and slung in across his chest like it was a lightsaber and he was Luke Skywalker himself; was now in full 1980's hair band mode with Star Fleet uniform and 1958 Fender bass guitar. "Captain; request permission to use the shuttle bay for a 'jam session'."

Captain Lorca had seen the crew suffer under a hard war, a war that they were loosing. He had been hard on them. He came to his decision deliberately and quickly. He opened a ship wide announcement, "Crew of the Discovery. This is Captain Lorca. The main shuttle bay has just been commandeered by a garage band and are preparing to enter into a jam session. Any personnel not doing something important are invited to attend. Bring beer."

Lorca addressed Baron, "What's your instrument Baron?"

"Guitar and bass." Baron replied, "Do you know any drummers on board?"

Stamets started to speak, Lorca interrupted him.

"Permission granted Paul. Go get your drum set." Lorca was hopeful something like this could be just what the doctor ordered to revitalize the poor moral of his crew.

Saru and Baron were plugged into amplifiers that were taller than Saru was; then tuned their instruments to a standard 440 A. They did it by ear, mostly using harmonics.

Stamets beamed in with a rather elaborate trap set. He had more symbols than the Klingon language had words for 'danger'.

Stamets was an accomplished drummer, he and Saru had never played together ever. Stamets didn't even know that Saru played, much less that he was really very good.

The crowds started to pour in; and there was a couple of hundred people there, in almost no time whatsoever. The trio played around with a few movements to get in synch together. Saru took the lead, as a good bass player should, "Ok gentlemen. How about I lay down a bass line and you follow?" Baron and Stamets nodded, "G minor, mode 3."

Stamets hit the snare drum a couple of times. This was an inside joke among bands. Drummers didn't care what key they were playing in; so they just banged on the snare and pretend like they were in tune.

The haunting melody that followed was both empathetic and emotive to the crew of the Discovery, her captain, and the officers who commanded her. The crew stood, sat, and slouched and listened. There were no words but the music touched them. It created sympathetic harmonics over the defeat of the rescue mission, and the loss of the hostages. Saru had planned it that way; he led Baron on the guitar and Stamets on the drums like a sheppard with his flock, and made it look easy. After about a long seven minute interlude Baron look at Saru and touched the 2nd strings tuner. Saru smiled and nodded. So did Stamets, although he didn't know what it meant.

Baron tuned the second string down to B flat, and then they switched to B flat major, mode 3. The music continued its resonance with the audience, but it shifted to hope, and resolve. It affected the crew the same way the spores affected Ripper. Lorca noticed; and smiled a hopeful smile for the first time in a while.

Legendary fighters from ages past had, in fair numbers, been accomplished musicians; even from King David and before even him. The crew of the Discovery was seeing that now in the trio that jammed like they were brothers. All they needed was a singer. The number of 'need a singer' VanHalen jokes were extremely funny; but only if you knew why.

Tilly who was thoroughly enjoying the whole thing almost to the point of making all the other happy people there look down right depressed; was approached by Lorca. Tilly spoke up, "Ya know, I think he'll fight with the same level of artistry that he plays the guitar. But he kills because there is a war going on and there is a job to do. He plays guitar because he loves it."

Lorca agreed.

The jam session went on for the better part of two hours. Lorca was relieved to discover that the shuttle bay's air boss, had recorded the whole thing. It was truly a classic scene from time of war; an experience that reminded tired and bitter soldiers that there was something worth fighting for; and it gave them the underlying feeling that while the enemy was planning their victory parade; they were preparing a serious comeback.

Payback is like a warped neck on a guitar it's a bitch.


	3. Chapter 3 A Piece of Liquid

Star Trek Discovery: The Mercenary: Part 3: A Piece of Liquid.

Baron SouthPaw entered into Captain Lorca's ready room. It was dimly lit, as usual. "You wanted to see me after you got settled in." said Lorca. It was not a question.

Baron pulled a sealed envelope from his pocket and handed it to Captain Lorca. It had a self destruct seal on it, and it said:

EYES ONLY: MR. GABRIEL LORCA

"What's this?" asked Lorca.

"It's a letter from my current client, he felt that it would be a good idea for you to help me with the job." said Baron; with a calm voice, like he expected Lorca to take commands from whoever his client was.

Lorca pulled out his communicator and verified his identity to disable the self destructing envelope. The letter was hand written and only about one page long. "Your list of clients are extremely impressive." Lorca said, genuinely impressed.

"Yeah, I'm doing this job for no charge. I decided it was better to have a favor owed me." said Baron.

"What's the objective?" asked Lorca.

"Asset recovery, specifically were going to recover assets from a high priced artifact dealer and collector." said Baron.

"Who's the collector?"

Baron pulled up a file on Lorca's display it had a display of a Caucasian male in his fifties. "Victor Heart." said Baron. He's an arms dealer, art dealer, smuggler, you name it. Buys and sells to the highest bidder. He's also selling military secrets to the Klingons."

"Some things never change. In war there's always somebody who sells out their own for the right price." Captain Lorca said with a fair amount of disgust in his voice inflection.

"We have two objectives, I have a third," stated Baron; "First we are to recover this." Baron used his tricorder to pull up a video. There were several Spore Tardigrades roaming around in what would only be described as an axial spore petting zoo.

"According to my client's Intel; Heart has no idea about the tardigrade's connection to the spore drive. He doesn't even know about the spore drive, at least according to Star Fleet intelligence. However, it's just too convenient that this guy has the one creature absolutely necessary to the drive's successful functioning." stated Baron.

"Yeah, just like it's too convenient for Mr. Saru to have suggested retaining your services at just such a time." observed Lorca.

"He said that we would hit it off." affirmed Baron. "The second objective is in Victor Heart's musical instrument museum." Baron continued; "Specifically the following instruments." Baron pulled up a display of some of the most valuable and historically significant instruments in human history:

1\. Jon Black instruments

a. Guitar Electric

i. Lewella

ii. Samantha

iii. Phoenix

b. Electric Bass

i. Mississippi Queen

ii. Queen Anne's Revenge

c. Violins

i. Purple

ii. Breanne

iii. Kelsi

2\. Bartolomeo Giuseppe Guarneri

a. Violins

i. Leticia

ii. Vieuxtemps

b. Viola: Maria

c. Chellos: Lady Chenango

d. Bass: Name unknown.

3\. Stradivarius

a. Violins

i. The Lady Blunt

ii. The Messiah

iii. Name unknown, previously not known to exist

b. Stradivarius instruments previously not known to exist

i. one violin

ii. one viola

iii. one cello

iv. one stand up bass

"Nineteen instruments total." said Baron.

"These are not just instruments. They are a significant part of the soul of humanity." extorted Lorca, "They are symbols of our culture, our art, and everything that makes us... us." said Lorca realizing it as he was saying it.

"What's your 'third' objective?" asked Lorca.

"Victor Heart is a clear and present danger to the United Federation of Planets during time of war. That makes him an enemy asset of considerable value. He's also been captured by Federation authorities twice and managed to bribe, blackmail, or brake out of incarceration; which essentially neuters Federation law."

Captain Lorca let that sit in. He knew what it meant. Baron was indeed an artist with two skill sets in his resume. One was musician, the other was assassin. What separated him from the evil assassins of the Klingon empire was that he fought for the good guys.

"How do you plan to sneak the Discovery in? We don't exactly have a cloaking device." asked Lorca; genuinely curious.

"We'll it just so happens that the good Lieutenant Stamets has decided to high-jack the Discovery; with my help of course, and sell it to Heart." said Baron with a smile from ear to ear.

"There is no way in hell that anybody would fall for that." said Lorca; genuinely regretful of saying it just as it came out of his mouth. Lorca could judge from Baron's face that the 'stupid' plan was already in play.

"Yeah, Heart's already made an offer for the ship. Twenty pallets of gold pressed latinum; as long as the ship is operable condition when Stamets manages to successfully highjack the Discovery."

The look on Lorca's face was priceless. "So let me get this straight. I higher you to help me rescue hostages, and then you hand me a letter from the President asking me to steal my own ship to retrieve some giant Tardigrades, violins, and look the other way while you kill a very bad man who really deserves it. Did I get that right?" asked Lorca.

"Pretty much." affirmed Baron.

"One condition," stated Lorca; beginning to enjoy the whole idea of this crazy plot, "I get to tell Stamets; personally."

"Done."

The two men shook hands... and smiled.


	4. Chapter 4 Dark Side of the Moon

Star Trek: Discovery Fan Fiction: The Mercenary

Part 4: Dark Side of the Moon.

Paul Stamets was expecting to be promoted. So when he was promoted to Commander, and given a commendation for his work on the spore drive; complete with all the pomp and circumstance, he took it as a confirmation that Star Fleet had finally recognized his worth to the war effort; and, in no small part, a confirmation that his ginormous ego was indeed considerably smaller than it actually was justified to be.

That's when reality set in. Stamets was called into the Captain's conference room with Saru, and Baron.

"Commander, we have a special mission that we want you to lead." stated Captain Lorca. Stamets judged the Captain's demeanor, he was serious.

"I don't lead missions. I'm an astromychologist, not a special forces operator." Stated Stamets bluntly.

"We want you to high jack The Discovery." said Captain Lorca.

Stamets just stared; one of those blank stares for which he had become famous.

"Should we tell him?" asked Lorca.

"He's going to find out eventually." stated Commander Saru.

Stamets remained silent.

Baron spoke up. "We know that just after Star Fleet commandeered your research that you and Straal were approached by a man named Jason Tantalus, and offered an enormous sum of Latinum to sell all your research to him, before the Federation could build the Glenn & Discovery." Stamets just listened not even blinking, "We also know that while Straal wanted to go through with it that you talked him out of it." Baron let that sink in for a few seconds and continued, "I also know that Jason Tantalus' real name is Victor Heart."

Stamets knew who Victor Heart was. His combination at shock of this revelation and relief that he had made the right decision; required no translation for anyone in the room to understand. As tempting as Tantalus' offer was, Stamets now knew that it would have been catamount to selling his soul to the devil for a cheap lunch.

Baron stood up, "I need some coffee, could you use some Paul?"

Paul Stamets nodded, "cream and sugar lots of it", stated Paul. Saru and Lorca made some small talk while Baron went to the synthesizer and returned with four, rather large, cups of coffee. Crème Brule and Saccharine for Stamets, Chocolate Caramel and NutraSweet for himself, black for Saru, and a mocha frappachino for Lorca.

Their plan was set into motion. They were the only four who were actually in on it.

Everyone else was just in for the ride; including Michael Burnham.

Baron had pulled many jobs like this in the past. He knew how dangerous it was to bring a non-operator like Commander Stamets in on a covert op. They always acted in a way that gave away their cover. Baron knew exactly what to say to Stamets to make sure that he would act in the exact manner needed to pull off this job.

"Commander Stamets," said Baron SouthPaw, "Whatever you do; you must, and I really mean it, must act completely normal like nothing is out of the ordinary." Baron knew that wasn't going to happen, but it would have the desired effect anyway.

Despite this being more dangerous than sky diving without a parachute into a very large active volcano... Stamets was so excited he could hardly contain himself.


	5. Chapter 5 The Pinball Wizard

In this Chapter

The Discovery is high jacked by 7 Federation conspirators. Captain Pike and The USS Enterprise enters the chase.

Star Trek: Discovery Fan Fiction: The Mercenary

Chapter 5: Operation 'Pinball Wizard' part 1

Friday November 13th 2257.

The Discovery had just undergone what was called, 'a wet overhaul', which was in effect a way to overhaul and maintenance many systems without a complete and through overhaul and refit. The whole process took seventeen days with three crews around the clock. Sixteen hundred technicians, engineers, and workers of all kinds and 250,000 man hours later the Discovery was almost like new. What the other crew didn't know was that Baron, Saru, Stamets, and Lorca had inserted the codes, and bypasses needed to high jack the discovery. It was, essentially, a real high jack. It had to be, or Victor Heart wouldn't buy it.

It was Friday November 13th, 2256.

Commander Paul Stamets took Baron's advice to act completely normal to heart... BUT on the morning that operation "Pinball Wizard" was about to kick off; Stamets felt just a little invincible, and it showed. Nobody dared say a thing, but Paul came off as a man who had just watched a James Bond marathon, while smoking some weed.

The Discovery had a skeleton crew. Only two dozen people on board; eight officers, and sixteen crew. It was the perfect time to steal a ship right out from the nose of Star Fleet.

The Good News: There were seven people in on it.

1\. Lamar LaForge: The President of The Federation. (Code Name Zeus)

2\. Admiral Jackie Carter: Star Fleet head of security. (Code Name The Key Master)

3\. Captain Gabriel Lorca: Captain USS Discovery. (Code Name Stratocaster)

4\. Commander Saru: 1st officer of the USS Discovery. (code name Praying Mantis)

5\. Commander Paul Stamets: Chief Theoretical Astromychologist. (code name 007)

6\. Baron SouthPaw: Private Security Contractor: acting Warrant Officer level 3 (Direct Action). United Federation of Planets. (Code Name: Humbucker)

7\. Jack Bartlet: Custodian. (code name MinieBall)

These were the seven people who actually knew that the high jack of the Discovery was sanctioned by the President of the Federation, and therefore, technically legal. Their seven's well thought out code names were fXXXing magnificent; to say the least.

The Bad News: Everyone else in the ENTIRE galaxy thought it was a real heist.

More bad news: Michael Burnham was a key plot device to sell the idea that the heist was authentic. Unfortunately, the 'authenticity' the conspirators were looking for would come in the form of whatever Burnham would do when she found out that the Discovery was under siege.

As Stamets walked into the Spore Drive test lab he spoke, "Attention ladies and gentlemen, I'm going to be running a new test today and I expect everyone to be up to speed." he said like he was ordering a vodka martini; shaken not stirred.

Tilly spoke up, "Can we do that with such a small crew?" she asked.

"That's what we're going to find out my dear apprentice." said Stamets.

Commander Stamet's comment about 'dear apprentice' was really out of character, but then again Stamets did have an ego similar in size and scope of a black hole's event horizon; Tilly didn't think much of it.

"I have spoken to Captain Lorca. We are going to run a function test of the Spore Drive within the next hour or so. So, everybody be ready." Stamets paused for effect. Everybody just nodded like it was just another Friday morning.

Tilly spoke up, "You know it's Friday the 13th; right?" Nobody commented.

Meanwhile in a Jeffries tube in the neck of the ship that was almost impossible to get to; Custodian Bartlet pulled his sonic screwdriver from his work belt and removed the security access panel to the master transporter conduits. He placed a peculiar looking device on it and closed it back up. Jack spoke into his communicator, "MinieBall to Humbucker, the siren's harp is in the high tide." which meant that the transporter security over ride was now online.

"Roger that." stated Baron. "Twinkle your toes and lets put the kids back in Kansas." which meant use the transporter to place all the members of the crew into the Brigg.

The essential thing about the crew was that the plan was dependent on the fact that the eighteen crew members that were on the ship couldn't be transported off the ship, and none of them could actually be harmed in any way.

Baron called Saru on his communicator, "Praying Mantis, this is Humbucker." Saru's code name was 'Praying Mantis'. Baron SouthPaw's code name was 'Humbucker'. An electric guitar pickup with noise canceling was called a humbucker ( wiki/Humbucker).

"Go ahead Humbucker." said Saru.

"The Kobayashi Maru is ready to set sail." said Baron. The name 'Kobayashi Maru' was actually the name of a ship from the film 'The Maltese Falcon'. They were using that as a code name for the USS Discovery. Later, after the whole thing was over, Michael would retell the story of Operation Pinball Wizard to her step brother, who named a training scenario after the Kobayashi Maru.

Saru went to the control panel on the bridge and started a ship wide announcement. "Ladies and gentlemen, welcome aboard the Kobayashi Maru. Now, I know, that you are thinking that the name of the ship is the USS Discovery." With that; Saru pushed a button that activated the transporter override and beamed the entire crew and officers to the brig, including Michael Burnham, Ensign Tilly, Captain Lorca, Commander Landry (aka Robocop), and Doctor Cruz.

Saru continued, "That was before Stamets and I decided to steal the Discovery. You are all now our hostages, we are holding you for blackmail so that Star Fleet doesn't come after us." Saru was actually enjoying this a lot more than he thought he would.

While Saru was doing his best 'evil bad guy' trope Burnham and Captain Lorca were sitting in the same cell. Captain Lorca, was of course in on it, and Burnham wasn't. Michael muttered under her breath, "Saru's actually enjoying this." she couldn't believe it. Saru turned traitor. She was so mad that she didn't see it coming; that she never stopped to think that there was no way in hell Lorca could have not seen this coming, and therefore had to know something she didn't.

Saru continued, "The Federation is going to loose this war. Stamets and I have wisely decided to just make our bed with the winning side, at least that way we will live like kings while everybody else... well, won't live like kings, if you understand the context..." Saru said this with a smile that stretched from ear to ear. Stamets was listening over the intercom in engineering; and laughing so hard his eyes watered up. Lorca was giving his best angry look and doing it convincingly; which was good because he found it funny that Saru was actually pulling off the idea of being a mutineer.

Baron SouthPaw was running security sweeps to make sure that Star Fleet wouldn't detect the action before they had time to jump to the rendezvous point. Bartlet was desperately trying to rearrange isolinear chips on the bridge before the ship's automatic security restoration protocols took back control of the ship. This was harder than they had practiced for. Saru muttered, "Have you fixed it yet?" he said with a fair amount of concern in his voice.

"-little busy here." replied Bartlet.

Saru continued to stall. He had to keep the crew occupied before any of them tried to voice activate their own security over rides. "You see all of you silly Federation..." Saru paused, he couldn't think of the right pronoun so he just used the best one he could come up with, "...people; is that actually I'm a lot smarter than any of you gave credit for."

Captain Lorca, in the brig with Burnham and the other crew members sensed that Saru was in trouble, he decided to improvise "Saru you damn hamster lover." It was the best insult he could mutter and still keep a straight face. "Give me back control of my ship or your threat ganglia are going to be in permanent red alert." Saru heard him.

"Things are already going not exactly as planned dear Captain. But I think that we are almost there..." Saru looked at Bartlet who gave him a thumbs up. "Ha, got it. Nobody's going to stop us now." Saru said stupidly, with a calm and determined voice.

"I'll bet you guys never saw that one coming." Saru concluded.

Michael spoke over the open intercom, "Saru, you don't want to go down this road, trust me." Captain Lorca ran to the corner of the cell to hide his face. This was the funniest damn thing he had seen since the war started. Michael was actually going to try to talk Saru out of this. "Saru, Stamets might be a complete asshole, but your are a good man." She put a lot of emphases on 'good', "Just think about this."

Saru put her on mute. Stamets, who was now on the bridge have his best pretend shocked face at Michael's naughty word. Saru let a few more seconds pass buy, "Ok we've thought about it and the three survivors have unanimously decided to continue being bad guys. Thank you for your consideration." Saru said with a nice even tone.

Captain Lorca couldn't help it and he laughed and cried at the same time.

"Captain." Burnham said in a tone that was expressed bewilderment and a little scorn. "What part of this do you think is funny?" she asked rhetorically.

Captain Lorca regained his composure, "Oh, I'll tell you latter. Right now we need to focus on what you all are going to do next."

"Oh that's easy." said Michael. "Computer recognize Burnham, Michael."

"Identity recognized." said the computer.

Michael continued, "Computer execute command code 'White Rabbit'." With this the brig's force fields went off line. Also a weapons cache was beamed into the brig. Michael didn't waist any time distributing phasers to the crew of the ship including a large phaser rifle to Captain Lorca who, for some reason, looked less than excited about breaking out of prison.

"What's your plan Michael?" asked Lorca, who was now genuinely worried that Michael might succeed in saving the day and ruining their super secret mission.

They can't use the Spore Drive if we destroy the conduit between it and the main shield generator. My 'White Rabbit' protocol puts a lock on the transporters.

Captain Lorca turned his phaser to stun and set it to maximum angle, "There's just one problem with your plan." he said, "I need them to succeed in high jacking the ship." Everyone in the brig just stared at Captain Lorca. "You didn't actually think that they could pull this off without my help did you." It was not a question. Nobody knew what to think they just stood there in utter shock. Captain Lorca pulled a hand written letter from his pocket and handed it to Michael. "We're acting under orders." stated Lorca flatly.

Michael read the letter and then handed it to Keyla. "Is this the president's signature?" Keyla asked rhetorically.

Everybody looked at Doctor Cruz. Stamets came to the good doctors rescue, "We didn't tell him, my orders." said Lorca.

Across the galaxy...

Meanwhile the USS Enterprise (NCC-1701) was just receiving news that someone was trying to steel The Discovery. It sounded like a plot from a movie.

Mr. Spock was staring into his personal data imager, "Captain I have located the Discovery's current location, I believe that I can track her through a single spore drive jump, but not a second."

"Understood." said Captain Christopher Pike.

"Captain." Stated ensign Uhura, "I'm receiving a priority 'purple' transmission from Star Fleet Command". The code 'purple' was beyond top secret.

"I'll take it in my ready room." Stated Pike.

"I'm sorry sir. The communiqué is very specific. It is for Mr. Spock only." That sank in. Spock was very well respected; so the reaction to getting a super secret message for Spock, instead of the Captain, wasn't shocking as much as it was just weird.

"Well Mr. Spock, don't keep us in suspense." stated Captain Pike, who handled the 'elephant in the room' with ease.

"Transferring to your viewer Mr. Spock." Said Ensign Uhura.

"Thank you Ensign." Spock looked at his private screen. "Curious. Captain, ...request permission to address the senior staff, and only the senior staff?"

"Granted." Said Pike. "Computer set the bridge into security skiff protocol."

The computer replied, "Bridge is now secure."

Uhura placed the message on the main viewer. There was a security question on the message; Spock would have to give the proper counter sign to access the message. The security question was, "What is your name?"

Spock replied, "Arthur, King of the Britton." A confused look came across everyone's face except for Spock.

The computer responded, "Correct." Captain Pike knew the movie the question was from; mainly because it had been mentioned in Spock's file as a human movie that Spock actually thought was funny. Captain Pike attempted to contain his laughter. He was unsuccessful.

There was a second security question. "What is your quest?," The computer said out loud.

Spock answered, "To seek the Holy Grail." he replied.

The computer responded, "correct."

"Stay silent" Spock warned. Captain Pike nodded in agreement so everyone could see.

The computer spoke again, "What is the air speed velocity of a swallow caring a coconut?".

Mr. Spock gave the countersign, "African or European."

"Correct." The computer said. The message opened. It said, "Take the Red Pill, follow the White Rabbit." There was a set of star coordinates and a communication frequency enclosed.

"Spock?" said Captain Pike, expecting his first officer to explain.

"The message was originally written by my sister. Simply put; it means drop everything you are doing regardless of how important you think it might be, and proceed to these coordinates and await further instructions on that frequency. The nature of this message means that it should be followed as if the fate of reality itself depends on it." Spock was not known for exaggeration; so Pike took it seriously.

Pike said as much to the bridge crew. "We'll prepare a shuttle for you Mr. Spock." said Captain Pike.

"Captain," stated Uhura, "Look at the chain of custody stamp on this message. It was sent to us by Admiral Jackie Carter."

Spock and Pike looked at it.

"Indeed." said Spock, sounding like something Captain Pike would say.

"Fascinating." said Captain Pike, sounding like something Spock would say.

Mr. Sulu, "Plot course for those coordinates, best possible speed." Stated Pike. This was the most exciting and out of character thing Spock had ever done, and Captain Pike sure as hell wasn't going to miss it if he could find an excuse not to. Besides if the message was sent by head of Star Fleet security it had to be important. Didn't it?

Stay tuned for Chapter 6: Girl Keeps Coming Apart.


End file.
